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. Ask for more information. If you still don't understand

How Empathy Can Reduce Your Anger
Jim, a 42-year old engineer was teaching his eight-year-old son how to fly a radio-controlled airplane. As the airplane was taking off, Jim instructed his son to push the control stick on the radio to the right. He did and the airplane turned to the right,UGG 5838.
This was repeated several more times until the airplane turned full circle toward the son, ready to land. "Push the stick to the right," said Jim. This time, however, the plane turned left. "Push the stick left," Jim said. Now the plane turned right, as if it suddenly had a mind of its own.
"I'm confused," said the son. "How do I know which way to push the stick when the plane behaves differently depending on if it's flying away from me or toward me?"
"It's simple," said Jim. "Simply imagine you're in the plane and push the stick accordingly." This cured the problem.
What a great lesson in empathy the ability to experience the world from another perspective, often the perspective of another person,be it a simple statement or a bold proclamation.
As an anonymous English author wrote: "To empathize is to see with the eyes of another, to hear with the ears of another, and to feel with the heart of another."
Why is empathy important? The real world bottom line is that lack of empathy leads to poor communication and a failing to understand others. Lack of empathy leads to all sorts of problems in our world. Nations go to war, people are killed, couples divorce all for a lack of empathy and understanding.
It is natural to become angry when frustrated or irritated with people who do or say things at variance with our worldview.
To manage anger, it often helps to see our anger as a combination of their behavior and our lack of empathy. While we cannot control other's thoughts, feelings or behaviors, we most certainly can increase our empathy skills.
To control our anger with increased empathy, three basic skills are required: listening, self-awareness and acceptance.
Empathic listening is a type of listening that goes further than ordinary listening. This type of listening uses another person's point of view to see the world as others see it,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Navy Boots. It provides a higher level of understanding of how others feel,Don't postpone things like.
Self-awareness occurs as you better understand your own thoughts and feelings. You are then better able to understand the thoughts and feelings of someone else. The more open we are to our own feelings, the more skilled we become at reading someone else's feelings, and generally the less angry we feel toward them.
Acceptance, on the other hand, is the ability to see that others have a right to their "ridiculous" feelings. We must allow people to have feelings without telling them how they should feel,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Black Boots. W cannot stop others from having feelings.
Empathic people understand that feelings are difficult to control. When we accept others as they are, it simply means that we understand that they are doing the best they can at the time. Remember, if they could do any better, they probably would.
Acceptance of others' feelings is not easy when people act differently than we do. We all have difficulty with those who are different. By learning the skill of empathy, we will be better able to understand ourselves and others.
Here are five simple rules to be more empathetic.
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2. Place the feelings of other's ahead of your own. Put aside your own needs and ideas long enough to listen to another's point of view.
3. Communicate your understanding. Respond or give answers to the messages you receive to show you understand them.
4. Do not interrupt. Let speakers finish what they are saying before you talk.
5,5838 Ugg Bailey Button Bomber Jacket Grey Boots. Ask for more information. If you still don't understand, ask more questions until you fully understand.

and I don't like that person.

Identity Theft
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 30, 2004
I've known my best friend for six years. Initially I thought she was a great person who was there for me in times of crisis. As time went by I noticed she was very competitive with others, and then I saw she was most competitive with me.
She will ask what I am wearing, then wear something shorter or more low-cut. She sees me in something, then buys that exact item. She copies phrases I say and repeats facts from me and claims them as her own. When we were in college, she constantly tried to one-up me in grades and games, even cheating to do so.
I confronted her after a close mutual friend brought this to my attention. I tiptoed around the issue because I did not want to hurt or insult her,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Black Boots. She said she competed with everyone, but not me, because with me she feels she cannot compete. After that I let it go,UGG 5803.
Not to boast, but I am an attractive person, and her male friends always ask about me. I only mention this because I know she is insecure, even though she is an attractive girl who is physically fit, smart, with many friends,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Navy Boots.
When I moved, she purposely "forgot" to pass on invitations to a wedding and to a reunion of college friends. She forgot my birthday, then tearfully explained it was all a misunderstanding. Mind you I live five minutes from her house, and she did not even pick up the telephone.
You cannot get into a car without her speeding to show you how fast she can go, or be in a group without her trying to appear more intelligent than you in conversation. I see the person she is inside, and I don't like that person.
Part of my problem is during college she was there for me financially when my family could not be,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. I will always love her for that. Even though I paid back every dollar, I still feel indebted. Sometimes I think she only helped me so she could feel superior.
Hailey
Hailey, who you are is a compilation of all you have experienced. You were raised to be good and polite. You have a sense of style and a sense of self. But your friend is invading your identity.
Robbers in a home invasion might take a homeowner's gun and use it against her. You may not own a gun, but you own a sense of niceness and your friend is using that sense of niceness against you. The word "nice" comes from a Latin word which means to be ignorant. You are not ignorant of what is going on, but you are ignorant of your own best interest,Heat Resistant Boots.
She is injuring you. When you fail to confront her,green and gold - the colours of the flag of Brazil.Ultimate ComfortWhen the summer rolls around, you are not being honest, and being honest outweighs being nice.
You've seen inside her, and you don't like what you see. The only way to take back your identity for your sole use is by severing this relationship. Don't be nice. Be honest,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Sand Boots.
Wayne & Tamara
Criminal History
Can a second marriage succeed if both parties cheated on their spouse in the first marriage?
Alex
Alex, is there honor among thieves? That is what you are asking.

You might be thinking

Too late? Maybe not!
Do you have dreams that have never been realized? Do you feel like it's too late to act on them? Well.maybe it's not!
Since my childhood,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Black Boots, I aspired to be a published author. I've always loved to write. Keeping a journal was a passion that began when I was nine years old. But many years passed without my dream coming true.
You might be thinking, why would anyone (besides my family and close friends) want to know anything about me and my dreams?
March being National Women's History Month compels me to write not so much about me and my dreams but about a woman whose life example is encouraging me to pursue my dreams. Even now, as I approach the half century mark. An empty nester wondering what's next for my life besides becoming a grandmother some day.
The pursuit of dreams, for women and men alike, has long been a powerful force in restoring hope in the face of impossible odds,After any treatment. Its power often comes when we consider that "impossible odds" might sometimes be self-imposed. Such as self-imposed "odds" that make us sigh with dismay: "too old" or "too late." But to impossible odds, the dreamer and visionary will always say, "Not so!"
I first learned of Mary Baker Eddy as an American author of a book that explained groundbreaking ideas about spirituality and health. Ideas that are more at home in the 21st-century than in her own 19th-century world, in fact. She openly challenged the conventional thinking in theology, medicine and science of her times. So she was often the target of criticism and slander. Consequently, I've found that some historic records still don't tell all the facts of her life correctly.
David Hufford wrote in his book, Eddy: Current Running against the Mainstream, "In the late 1800s, there were very few women in medical schools, in seminaries, or in universities. Mrs. Eddy and a handful of other women upset centuries of tradition when they began to speak and write about religious and medical issuesand to talk openly about the equality of men and women."
There is much to learn from the lives of others. So how important it is for his-stories and her-stories to be accurately told.
What inspires me now at this time in my life is Mary Baker Eddy was 54 years old when her renowned book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, was first published. And top that with she was 87 years old when she launched The Christian Science Monitor, as a balanced and ethical alternative to the sensational journalism of her day. A paper that remains a leading international newspaper today, I might add.
Such accomplishments, and there were many others, by a woman during her middle age and senior years,Worldly Balance, gives me inspiration to imagine the possibilities for my dreams today.
Eddy's life story is testament to the fact that it's never too late to pursue dreams. Her own words give some insight into how dreams can be accomplished. "The devotion of thought to an honest achievement makes the achievement possible." Mary Baker Eddy's life and accomplishments proved this for us all. ()
History is filled with accounts of many great men and women who have fulfilled their dreams. Mary Baker Eddy describes their lives as "miracles of patience and perseverance." And like them and like her, we've all got it in us.

Are we spending

Where is the Time and Money?
An informal survey (by me) over the last two weeks has revealed an interesting statistic.
I asked almost everybody I spoke to (even strangers) if they had enough time. If they had enough time I asked if they had enough money.
Most said they had neither enough time nor money. A few (very few) had time but no money. Even fewer had enough money,relationships and life to be in the next five years.
Then I asked if they knew anyone who had enough time and money. One person could name three people, but I do not think he knew them very well. He was one of the few who knew someone,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Black Boots.
My wife named three people. All were retired. All had worked the same jobs most of their lives and had paid for their homes. One was her grandmother of 93, one was a single man of 84 and the other was a couple in their late 60's that lived in the same place all their lives.
Ouch! Can this be true,Or is it really? Do the majority of people not have time and money until they retire,UGG 5803? Which brings up this question. Is it OK to have time and no money,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots? Or is it OK to have money but no time?
Are we spending (literally) our whole lives chasing after time and money with little possibility of reaching that goal until late in our lives?
Why am I even writing about this,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Sand Boots,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Black Boots? What is the point? Does it even matter that we seem to chase time and money our whole lives?
One thing that comes to mind is our kids. You know, the children that are growing up to lead the world, and solve the problems we are leaving to them. What are we teaching them by our actions? We aren't teaching them much directly because we are too busy!
Maybe I write this out of guilt. How many times have I told my boys I am too busy to listen, play, talk, watch a movie, read a book, and go outside or a thousand other things kids want to do?
Or maybe this is the same thing that attracts me so powerfully to the BeDoHave formula.
I have said that most people are Doing something to Have stuff so they can Be somebody. This is the formula we have been conditioned to accept since before we were born by our parents, peers, advertising and entertainment. DoHaveBe.
Do you see how we can never have enough stuff to be somebody because there is always more stuff to have? Under this formula we are scrambling, using all our time to earn money so we can buy stuff. Are we not using our time and money in order to be somebody? The big question is when are we going to be somebody? When will we have enough stuff?
Let's turn the formula around to BeDoHave. I think that might be the cure!
First we work on the Being ourselves. Who are you? Be that person first.
Next we find what it is we love to do. Do that with passion and joy. Give it everything you got!
Then comes the more difficult part. We must have faith in the Universal Energy that when you Be who you are and you Do what you love that you will Have what you will need.
I think the people who do have enough time and enough money are following the BeDoHave formula. Now I know what questions to ask for my next survey!
Your Coach and online friend,
Miami
Miami Phillips
Helping others find their path - and stay on it.



Quotation of the Week
Your soul doesn't care what you do for a living. Your soul cares only about what you're being while you're doing whatever you're doing.Neale Donald Walsch (Conversations with God)

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